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Using 'I statements' to challenge bias
Pointers for individuals: The “I” statement.
In Just Work, to challenge and call out bias in the moment (the book goes into great depth on other forms of workplace injustice such as prejudice and bullying ), Kim Scott recommends making use of “I” statements. Because an ‘I’ statement actively invites someone else to immediately consider your perspective.
If it's bias you’re confronting, whether you are the person harmed or the upstander, your goal is to invite the person in to understand your perspective. Easier said than done.
Quick rule of thumb: even if you don’t know what to say, start with the word “I.” Starting with the word “I” invites the person to consider things from your point of view — why what they said or did seemed biased to you.
The easiest “I” statement is the simple factual correction. An “I” statement can also let a colleague know you have been harmed without being antagonistic or judgmental. For example, “I don’t think you meant to imply what I heard; I’d like to tell you how it sounded to me...” An “I” statement can be clear about the harm done while also inviting your colleague to perceive things the way you do or to realise that an incorrect assumption was made.
Below are more examples of the sorts of “I” statements you might make use of when confronting common experiences of bias. Scott points out that hey will be more effective when not used verbatim, but delivered in language that sounds authentic to us all individually.
Some examples of 'I Statements'
You, a woman, are negotiating a deal with Wilson, and you have brought along your summer intern, Jack, to take notes. But Wilson directs his comments to Jack.
What you might be thinking: You’re assuming Jack is the boss because he is a man. Typical.
“I” Statement: Wilson, I am the person you are negotiating with. This is Jack, my summer intern.
You get asked to take the notes in every meeting.
What you might be thinking: Because I’m a woman, you always ask me to take notes.
“I” Statement: I can’t contribute substantively to the conversation if I always have to take notes. Can someone else take notes this week?
Every time you offer a recommendation you get ignored, but when a man says the same thing five minutes later, it’s a “great idea.”
What you might be thinking: Why are you hailing him as a genius when he is simply repeating what I just said two minutes ago?
“I” Statement: Yes, I STILL think that’s a great idea. (N.B.: You don’t have to do this for yourself; you can ask upstanders on your team to notice when an underrepresented person makes a key point but someone from the majority later repeats it and gets credit for it; ask the upstanders not only to notice but to chime in and say, “Great idea, it sounds a lot like what X said a few minutes ago.”)
You are one of two people of your ethnicity and/or gender on your team of thirty people. Multiple people keep confusing the two of you.
What you might be thinking: We don’t all look alike.
“I” Statement: I am Alex, not Sam.
“As you start having more diverse teams, your proximity to working with people that have different identities and different intersections than you is going to increase the amount of bias that can creep up in those situations,”
Good to know...
Here are some insights on 'I Statements' from an origin and therapeutic perspective.
This resource on Intentional Interruption builds neatly on the ideas shared here, with other practical expressions for 'calling out' and 'calling in' uncomfortable behaviour.
We explore lots of ideas on point to this resource, and lateral to it too, in our live session on Conscious Inclusion, led by author of Inclusive Growth, Toby Mildon.
Kim Scott and her Just Work business partner Trier Bryant spoke with Bruce Daisley in an episode of his excellent Eat Sleep Work Repeat podcast. You can listen to that here.