When we feel overwhelmed, it’s easy to believe that we have no agency; no say or sway in what we can do to make things better.

When this happens, it’s time to switch our focus from the external to the internal world, and organise our thoughts by what we can and can’t do — bringing our focus firmly to what is in our control.

A handy tactic:

Look down at your hands. One hand is going to represent ‘can’; the other ‘can’t’.

Talk to yourself outwardly or inwardly, and walk through what’s on your mind.

Follow a format like this:

• I can’t control [x], but I can control [y]
• I won’t focus on [x], but I will focus on [y]
• I don’t know [x], but I do know [y]
• I won’t [x], but I will [y]

So that might sound like:

• I can’t control the deadline, but I can control my stress with breathing exercises
• I won’t focus on the audiences faces, but I will focus on giving a good presentation
• I don’t know if this is going to work, but I do know I can learn something from this
• I won’t distract myself with my phone, but I will take a quick walking break every half hour

👏 Clap your hands together to seal your clarity, agency and accountability.

Stress, and the sense of being overwhelmed, can freeze you in place and make you feel powerless to change anything. Reminding yourself of your agency in any and all situations, no matter how overwhelming it seems, is the best first step towards a resilient you. And who doesn't enjoy the celebratory snap of a clap?

We cover an array of practical tactics for becoming more resilient and building bounce-back-ability in our Rethinking Resilience workshop. Find coming dates here.